Who Cares - Drama Free

Who cares that is what I want to say today. I am tired and I want to be somewhere else doing something else but that isn't going to happen. I have customers coming in this afternoon that will fall out of their chairs when I give them the price.  It seems pointless you can't get quality, service and price for next to nothing. One of the three goes out the window.

I am taking care of my neighbors dogs this week and it has been less than stellar. They haven't traveled much lately and the dogs are in agony. Especially the one German Shepard who was abused and doesn't really interact much.  I can tell my energy is not good this week because she won't come near me.

I know she is in agony because the minute I leave she starts howling and basically howls all night. I lay in my windowless bedroom trying to sleep and I can here her next door howling. Our houses are close together but not that close. I am sure I am the only one hearing it because most of the neighborhood is retired and they don't have the super hero hearing that has been passed down to me on my mother's side. I watch TV on the number one.  The point is I am not sleeping.

I haven't resolved my issues with the contractor we have been working with. He probably thinks I have gone of the deep end and chocks it up to me being female.  I am over the drama.

I have learned a lot just over the past few months. That staying with who you know because the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know isn't the only way. With the crisis I faced at work I had to try new contractors and what I found was that it was nice to be without the family drama.

Sometimes when you work with people they become like family and the respect goes out the window and drama level goes up. Everyone takes everyone for granted and everyone feels used and abused. It is very dysfunctional around here. It is better than it use to be but when you know too much about a person it affects the way you relate.

So going outside this make shift family we have here is a good idea. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. I have worked hard to be happy living a drama free life.

Before my recovery in Al-Anon I was addicted to drama. I didn't know it but I was drawn to the drama the alcoholic in my life created because it reminded me of my childhood. The chaos felt familiar and being in crisis mode kept my ADD mind stimulated.

I didn't want to believe this when someone pointed this out. I wanted to think that it was just bad luck on my part. Life was out to get me but really I was addicted to the drama. Like a warm blanket something to do someone to blame.

I had to let go. I had to learn to be comfortable with no drama. Once I reached this point drama actually repelled me. I took steps to stay away from the people in my life that created it for me. In the program I met people that were like me and for the most part we have existed drama free. Not crisis free but drama free. Everything isn't a crisis unless I make it one.

A lot of babbling today but the gist is who cares. I can let today bring what it will bring and not let it affect me. I can trust that all is well and tomorrow it will just be something else.