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| Last nights model |
My ego is totally freaked out that I have to accept that I don't know anything. I want to just run away but of course no one but me expects me to know anything. It is so uncomfortable to be here again.
My inside critic is telling me I have made the wrong decision. Luckily my spiritual mature side knows that it is really too soon to tell. It says "just relax and see how it goes."
Why is it we expect to be instantly good at something and compare ourselves to people that have been doing it for much longer than us? It takes courage to be a rookie at anything.
Last night at my drawing class everyone was telling the teacher that wished they were as good as he is at drawing. Like he woke up one morning an expert. He has a degree in art and has taught drawing at the college level for five years.
I don't like feeling so awkward but it is also really good for me. I have been feeling less than challenged at my job for awhile now. All the products are new and learning the products will be a challenge.
Fake it until you make it. That is my plan. Wish me luck.
I hate that feeling, but I believe you will find your way and be better for this part of your journey. Because, thanks to your program, you know how to make the most of the experience.
ReplyDeleteI used to hate change ... maybe fear it would be a better way to put it ...but now I love a challenge. What I do is tell myself that I'll do the best I can and if it's not enough so be it. It seems to free me up and it's easier to face it and I almost always end up doing the job just fine.
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