Just being ordinary

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.  I didn't want to get out of bed and face the day.  I couldn't really put my finger on it. I am usually pretty neutral about my day but not today. I started searching for a reason for my lack of enthusiasm.

For the most part things have been going really well in my life. I am starting to get settled in at work and I am starting to close more jobs. I did have one job that I lost last week after spending a lot of time on it and yesterday I spent the morning with a dueling couple over bathroom selections. She was in tears when they left.

This morning I was thinking that maybe I am not any good at this maybe I should be doing something else. Is it this hard for other sales people or is it just me? This is what my mind was going over this morning as I pulled the covers over my head and hit the snooze button one more time.

Of course I did get up and out the door with two appointments this morning and by the time I reached the first one I was in sales mode and enjoying being out of the office.  I do enjoy the people I meet even when I have to watch them play out a lifetime of relationship issues in front of me.

By the end of the day I had gotten over myself.  I did have a chocolate moment around three o'clock and begged my co-worked who was going out for food to bring me back anything chocolate. She granted my wish and brought me a chocolate filled turnover from Arbys with chocolate icing. It did the trick even if I was covered in flakes and chocolate in a matter of minutes.

Luckily I ended the day on a healthier note having seared fresh tuna over salad with basmati rice on the side for dinner.  The tuna was a impulse buy at the farmers market on Sunday a very good impulse indeed.

I think I am still learning to be normal again and accepting that sometimes you just have bad days or days when you just don't feel like being a grown up.  It doesn't mean it is the end of the world and it doesn't mean I am slipping back into depression.  I have to learn accept just being ordinary.