Finding what has been lost - Grace

With life you get hurt. Sometimes it is just little things said to you by people that say they love you other times it hard hurts where you feel like you have been gutted and left for dead. You think you will never be the same and that is true but what can you do but keep moving.

You know you have lost small chunks and big chunks of yourself but you learn to function as this new person you have become.  You get use to feeling less than the person you were and eventually you accept that this is the person you are and then the memory of who you were fades all together. 

This is the point of acceptance and it feels pretty god to give up or give in. You can stop trying so hard and spend your time doing something besides thinking about trying to get back to the person you were. I feels like freedom.

You get on with it you do what is required of you everyday. People look at you the same they don't know that there has been a shift within you. You don't know this yourself except you have more energy you feel a little lighter and a lot less emotional.

Finally one day out of the blue something happens that makes you laugh. It feels peculiar but it starts to happen more often and then there is the singing in the shower.

Many months later you realize that without explanation you have returned to yourself. You are not the same but actually better. You know that something extraordinary has happened and you accept the grace that has been given to you. Once again.