I watched Super Soul Sunday last night with Oprah interviewing Biden in 2017. It was a good interview and showed that he is a thoughtful and kind man still grieving the loss of his son. He spent most of the interview hunched over clasping his hand reliving the words he was saying slowly and deliberately.
I then I watched the Steven Colbert interview from three years ago and then one from one year ago. Much lighter non-stop talking. Steven fact checked his last interview and he go a lot of details wrong about a story he told. He said he was just conveying the importance of the moment in the story and names and dates weren't that important in that specific incidence.
It is going to be so strange having someone that actually answers questions and deals with issues. Instead of chasing a moving target that doesn't have answers and isn't really that interested. I remember shortly after the last election when Hillary did an interview for the first time. I was mesmerized by how soothing it was to hear complete sentences coming out of her mouth after only months of the current administration.
I can't help but think about how this president reminds me of a time I lived with active alcoholism. At first the charm and charisma was enough. The way he could win over anyone with his energy and words. He promised the moon but never did anything that he said he would do. Then as the disease progressed he created chaos in our lives every day. Every move I made was based on what I thought he would do next - bracing myself for a number of possible out comes.
I was the desperate wife pouncing on him when he did show up trying to get answers I felt I needed to survive, When I would remind him of the promises he made he would deny ever making them. He shut me out and refused to even talk about anything. By the time he left I had become addicted to the chaos and the adrenaline that went with it. When he was out of my life it felt like I had been unplugged from my life source. I was empty and exhausted.
Even with the pain of the loss I was grateful to come home at night an not have to face the madness. I wasn't chasing a moving target and dealing with crazy every day. Even if I had gotten use to the thrill of the ups and downs I knew it was killing me.
What we have lived with these past four years is just like living with an active alcoholic. The charm and laser attention I got in the beginning changed to control and chaos in the end. It was like a drug being loved by this person is so charismatic. He made me feel like he was the only one who understood me.
I imagine this is what his core supporters feel like. "He really sees me" and maybe he does but he will never really come through with the promises he makes. He is just there for his moment in the spotlight and really never thinks past that moment. Their lives will be empty for a while but then they will go back to whatever they were doing before.
Everyone especially the media with feel loss and emptiness for awhile. No matter whether your were fighting for him or against him the excitement is over. The man himself is a walking crisis. We will have to get use to the fact that we don't have a man whose tweets send the stock market crashing.
It took me a long time to get over my husband leaving. It was a relationship that consumed me and when it was over I felt bored and lonely for a long time. I was so exhausted I like for two years I just worked and slept. I know today that relationship changed me forever for good and bad. It made me see what I didn't want again and made me face what attracted me to him in the first place.
I have learned to be my own entertainment these days and when I am bored I don't look for a two legged crisis to feel that void. I can be grateful and accept that life isn't exciting all the time and be at peace. I know things will be less volatile with the new president but I am not expecting nirvana just a little less crazy.
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