I seems no matter how much time has passed that the mind can always bring up old feelings of loss. After yesterdays posting I was feeling down and couldn’t really figure out why. After talking it over with a friend and telling him about my blog entry I started to get a little overwhelmed. It was a painful time in my life giving up that marriage and the dream of happily ever after. I have moved on in many ways since that time but I can look back and have compassion for the person I was then. I can look at how far I have come and accept that I did the best I could. Just like today I am doing the best that I can. I have to admit even now sometimes I think that it would easier to be emotionally shut down. But today I have support of my friends in the program and deal with my emotions as they surface. I know shutting down isn't option for me anymore. Back then it helped me cope with the pain of my life. Now I can put up with an occasional dumpster dive it is better than living in one.
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