Chat with Jesus - Take what you like and leave the rest

I think it is funny that the minute I finished my post last week about how great things were going I got a phone call that started a week long crisis at work. On Tuesday I just sat in my car wondering if there was an easier less stressful way to make living. I questioned whether to go ahead with my kitchen or save the money for and earlier retirement.

Luckily by the end of the week I was over it and had accepted that this is part of my job. I ordered my cabinets yesterday and feel pretty free today.  I am off this weekend and will be taking this time to relax and regroup.

I did meditate everyday this week to try to offset the massive stress I was feeling and I had one particularly interesting session. It does have a religious slant so take what you like and leave the rest.  I thought it was really funny and wanted to share it with you.

I was on the water in my pontoon boat.  This is where I like to be a peaceful quiet place moving slowly.  The sun is bright and reflecting on the water it isn't too warm maybe late spring.  There is canopy over the boat so the table I am sitting at is in the shade.  I am sitting there and suddenly Jesus appears.  I said to him " wow you are so beautiful" he said " yes I look like the picture that your grandmother had of me in her front room."  He was right he was the Jesus from that halo gram picture in my grandmothers house the one with the big gold frame with it's own special  light. She had gotten it from one of her donations to a TV ministry. 

We talked about my recent decision to take care of myself and my own life and focusing on my own joy. He told me that I had helped a lot of people in ways that I would never really know.  That I had taken care of other people most of my life and that it was okay to enjoy what is left of my own life. I told him sometimes I am lonely and he said that when he was here he was lonely too even when surrounded by people all the time.

While talking I noticed that he was wearing heavy robes (like the picture) I said "aren't you hot in those robes" He said "I am not a person."  That was it the end of my talk with Jesus.

You can say what you like about this little episode but it helped me.  Maybe it was me talking to me or maybe something more.  Until that moment I hadn't thought about that picture of Jesus at my grandmothers house since I was an adult. He was beautiful long flowing dark hair with highlights the sun shining on his face.  My grandmother was a serious believer and prayed about everything. She even prayed the bugs away from her old early 1900's house.  I have to admit she didn't have bugs.

I try not to put limitations on my own beliefs and the beliefs of others.  If something works for you and it brings you peace then whose to question that. I do think that religion can sometimes close you off from the fact that we are all the same.  We suffer when we lose someone we love or when we watch the people we love self destruct.  We all feel helpless and lonely sometimes even when we are with other people.

I spoke to a woman this week that is really into finding the right religious group. She also said her mother died when she was 12. I told her about my own mother's death and how it can really mess you up and you can spend a lifetime searching for security that doesn't exist. Being the group that is going to heaven makes you feel secure but you can miss out on the joy that is in your life every day. The search feels valid but it can be a distraction from real life. 

Maybe that was too much but I felt like I had to say it. It is my "testimony" as they would say in the church of my childhood. Again "take what you like and leave the rest."