I had a marathon conversation with my sister this week. She called at 9:30 and we talked until 12:30. I wasn't expecting this and had to be at work at 8:30 the next morning but took it all in stride. I am happy that we are really starting to get to know each other.
My sister like me has spent most of her life alone emotionally. She feels she has a leg up on me because she has children but now that they are grown they are starting to see that we are not normal. There is a number of reasons for that first with our Pentecostal upbringing we were taught that the things of this world are not important. If you have talents and abilities then you use them for God's good and to encourage people to find Jesus.
We are analytical and our minds are in a constant state of processing and we aren't really interested in small talk or the latest TV super show. My sister has stayed close to our family faith and pretty isolated to what is going on in the world. My brother in law keeps Fox News running constantly on the TV so that gives you an idea of the slant of the house. Everything points to the end of time.
I once said something about Tony Robbins to my sister and she had no idea who that was. I think it is funny that after such different lives we do have a lot of spiritual ideas in common. I talked to her about the spiritual books I have read and she comes back with a christian book that says the same thing.
We haven't been close all these years. She has called me regularly most of my life but usually she did most of the talking. She is having an awakening now with her kids wishing she was more like other people. She wants to withdraw from their lives because she doesn't measure up in their eyes.
I told her that we are who we are and that there is nothing wrong with us. Our mother gave us the gift of individualism and knowing what is important. We were born in the deep end of the pool and the sooner we accept ourselves the happier we will be.
I have always wished to be like other the people but I am not. I have finally come to terms with just living and enjoying who I am. I did tell her that loving herself will make her feel less like a victim. The kids will come around one day and see that she has dedicated her life to making them strong individuals. They want to fit in right now and they are not sure what to do with mom the spiritual intellectual.
I was happy when she told me that during a recent family get together she was able to take a walk and enjoy the spectacular scenery. She said it was the first time she didn't try to be something she wasn't.
We can't get away from who we are at the core. My sister is an amazing person and has done a lot with her life despite a lot of road blocks and a rough start. I think it is funny how much the same we are and how only now she can see that. Spiritual genetic I guess. Thanks Mom.
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