Staying in the flow - Accepting where I am

I have felt on the up swing the past week even with hearing the news that in didn't get for the Master Gardner program. They said  they had double the usual applicants since they didn't have it last year. I am sure I am probably one of the few with a full time job.  I didn't take it personally and figured that the timing wasn't right.

Since I started my spiritual journey I have focused on flow. Someone described this as putting your boat into a stream and letting the water do the work. You can only do this when you can resist wanting something and trying to force it to happen. In the old days I spent every waking hour trying to manipulate something or worse trying to manipulate someone working every angle.

I thought this was being smart and worse I thought I was helping people. You can't really help people learn what it is they have to learn. You can support and comfort them but no one can go down the road we must travel we have to go alone. We long for it to be easier or to know the future but we this isn't possible. We can choose to let go or we can exhaust ourselves preparing for the wrong thing. It is never what we think it will be.

I been in mourning the past month and I feel some deep inner changes occurring. I heard someone say that life's natural rhythm makes changes every seven or ten years.  That has been true for me re-inventing myself or sometimes being forced to re-invent myself. 

I have accepted the mourning period and know that we are always dealing with the reality of where we are and with age we can see clearly what we have lost and acceptance is slow. We can decide not to waste anymore time on the past and decide what to do with the rest of our lives. This is freedom.

I feel like I am preparing for something spiritually. I do think that subconsciously we are always working things out. Our inner spiritual self knows what needs to be dealt with and our conscious self never gets to whole picture. We have to trust God or the universe that we are going in the right direction.

We have to take care of ourselves and not judge ourselves. What we know about energy and how we don't have clear boundaries between us makes it easy for me to understand why we feel the ups and downs without knowing why. 

The turmoil of the what the whole world has experienced the past year effects us all. We are all in it together and the only way to find peace is to focus on inner peace. Be kind and respectful to those you interact with every day especially the ones closest to us. We can't know when our time together will be over.