I should have never had the idea of taking it easy in the month of July. The universe shouted right back at me with more work than I could have imagined along with my renovation this has left me little time for anything but sleep.
I am not complaining I just think is is comical when you plan one thing and something totally different happens. This is where we get really messed up believing that we really have any control of our lives. To have a plan is definitely the way to feel safe setting out on our path with a specific goal or destination and expecting things will go our way. How we react when obstacles start popping up one by one testing our every movement forward is what really matters.
The pain is in the resistance of course not in the actual problems that arise. For me my pain is not being able to meet what I think are the expectations of others. Especially in my work you have to decide who is serious and who is just poking around the idea of doing something.
I feel mostly like I am gambling with my time and in the end my money. Who should I invest in and who has been watching too much HGTV. Business comes in clumps not a steady even stream where I have the time to address first come first serve. You have to make those choices and I hate that part but I only have 24 hours in each day.
It stresses me out when I have to choose what I can fit into the time I have available in a given day. Sometimes working on what I sense is a dead end instead of bigger more long term projects. Why would I do that? Because I am getting pressure and in order to move on I have to relieve that pressure.
I have gotten use to working like this over the years and once I have all my plates spinning I can really get a lot done. This why time away isn't good for me when I return I am resistant to people hurtling plates at me and I have resentments. Eventually I get back up to full speed and it all seems normal again.
What works for me is first not really making plans. I have specific loose goals for the day and I do my best to meet them. I tell myself that I have always worked this way and for the most part I can trust my instinct and I will get it all done. If I don't then it wasn't meant to be and I move on.
I have ask other people in my business how they deal with it and they say there is no way to meet every one's needs all the time. I am lucky that I enjoy what I do and I don't have a lot of personal commitments so I can put in the hours.
It is good to put into words that it is okay to feel overwhelmed from time to time and that it all works out if you just don't make plans.
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