shooting - guarding our minds

Another shooting in the news it is disturbing that it is just becoming a normal event in the news.  I think many things can cause a society to turn to violence to solve problems.  We pretend that violence on TV or games or even by police doesn't really send the message that this is how to resolve conflict.

I also don't think you can stop someone who has no regard for their own life from taking as many people with them as they can.  I do think between the time they become angry and the time they take action a lot of thoughts pass through their brain.  Somewhere  they have gotten the idea that this is the only solution. They should get what they want at any cost.  Where does this idea come from?

I recently watched a magician follow a guy all day as he went about his normal errands.  Each stop he either played a certain song or had someone in the store whistle the same song.  At the end of the day as part of the magic act he said "think of a song but don't tell me what it is" then he had the band from the restaurant come outside and play that very song. The guy couldn't believe it.

My point is that our minds are constantly absorbing what is around us.  I think that we need to guard what we casually listen to or watch. The advertisers have known this since the beginning even going as far as subliminal text during commercials. We can't ignore what is being fed to us every minute.

Today everything is instant gratification.  We don't want to wait 3 seconds for something to come up on our phone.  This is setting us up for major life conflicts.  When things don't go our way we can't deal with disappointment.  Combine this with the testosterone and ego and it won't end well.

I didn't know about the shooting until my cousin called me to let me know.  I select what I watch for my own peace of mind. For me knowing bad things are happening doesn't change anything.  It just plants a seed that life is not safe.  The truth is life is not safe but living in fear doesn't make it any safer it just ruins every minute living in fear. 

When the dust settles - Not making plans

We are heading for the home stretch with the remodel.  Everything in my house is covered with a fine layer of drywall.  I have decided to just wait and not try to clean until literally the dust settles. My last remodel at my other house I was in my thirties and had specific ideas about how everything should be done and how long it should take.  I cleaned everyday only to find the dust there the next morning.  I was a perfectionist and this set me up for a lot of disappointments and drove the people around me nuts.

This time lets say I am "more seasoned".  Back then I had lost my corporate job and gone back to school.  In my mind I was being supported by someone else and was trying to find my identity while earning my keep.  This was pressure I was putting on myself to prove I was valuable for all that I brought to the table.

The thing I have learned is that even if you bring nothing to the table you are still valuable. You may not meet your own expectations or be popular with the people around you but you are still a human being and here on the planet and are valuable.

It is true that if you do more and be more you will have more friends and you will have a higher opinion of yourself but in the end this is just the ego getting fed. It sometimes leads us to look at other people as less valuable than ourselves or the groups that we belong to.  We are special and they are not we are right and they are wrong.

It is a real trap.  I think we do this so we feel safe and belong.  If we do the right things with the right people then we are somehow insulated from the bad things or people out there that can hurt us. Even the idea of the after life is a safety net in case we lose someone we love or something goes wrong we can know that it will all work out in the end.  I don't think we could survive without these ideas.

For myself I am focusing on today and the people that are a part of my life today this moment. The grand scheme in our heads is really just a distraction.  My mind loves this kind of entertainment.  The planning and scheming of my pretend future.  I will have a future but it probably won't match the one in my head exactly.  I have to ask myself "what am I missing today by making those plans?"

You can make plans but it is the actual act of making those plans that is enjoyable and not depending on the outcome to make you happy. Putting my happiness in the hands of a specific outcome can set me up for serious pain,  Life doesn't have a plan just us. Be happy today and don't look to some future day to be happy.

I knew this remodel would not make me happy.  Yes even when it is done I will love it but then my mind will be on to something else.  I have enjoyed the planning and meeting the different workers coming in the house but when the dust settles I will be left with myself and what is next.