It has been proven scientifically that when you spend time with a person or group of people that your brain chemistry starts to change to match each other while you are together. This is why when people gather in large groups who already have similar ideas about things can be powerful. This is why religions through out history called people to come together as an act of commitment to their beliefs..
Even in smaller groups we take on the outlook of the people we are traveling with through life. The day to day similarity makes us feel like we belong to something our tribe. It isn't acceptable for someone with different ideas to join unless they are planning to assimilate. There is strength in numbers and if someone doesn't get on board they will be pushed out.
I was listening to an interview with Byron Katey yesterday. For me she really has the answer to mental suffering and it is pretty simple. But that is a different post. Yesterday she said "when you think someone is wrong it it just because they do not agree with you." This assumes we are somehow superior in our own beliefs and ideas. She calls this "war".
During the holidays some people end up spending a lot of time with there family. This is when our differences tend to come up. These people might be our original tribe but now we have moved on and found our own tribe in our everyday life. It makes us feel unsettled that the people we spent our early years with are not like us and and we want to take this one day to try to change them.
With my own family they live in a different world than I do. Do I think they are wrong? I think they mean well and are passionate about their own beliefs and it is not my responsibility to convert them to mine. If I am pressed I am happy to let them know my own beliefs.
On my recent visit I saw a lot of pain and suffering mostly caused by fear. Fear of crime and all those people out to get them. Ironically they all live way out in the middle of no where and the likelihood of any of those things happening to them is remote. The mind is always looking for something to do and leans towards fear and negativity.
When I am with my family I imagine that my own presence of love and acceptance will have an influence on them. It is hard see them suffering but I understand it because I have suffered myself.
Let's face it we all live alone in our heads or with those nasty characters we have created to live with us. We don't know what is in some one's head or heart we can only bring love and acceptance to the table and be the strong force that makes an impression. This is better than war.
I am spending Christmas alone and happy this year. I can make a big deal about this or I can enjoy my solitude and know that I am loved from a distance by my original tribe. I have learned how to let myself be happy where ever I am. Merry Christmas.
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