Signs - Weirdness - Pause

It is unusual for me to take the time in the middle of a work week to write but it has been a particularly strange week. First it has rained and rained and gloom has set in and slowed everyone down just a bit.  The other thing is that someone at worked passed away suddenly after going the emergency for an allergic reaction. He wasn't a close friend but a kind and generous person who when you met him you knew he was extraordinary.

A funeral at 7 pm on a week night about an hour outside of town. The church was filled with only 5 of us wearing mask. It is a small town and I am guessing people felt too embarrassed to wear mask. It seemed strange a lot of laughing and talking as if it was just a regular Wednesday night prayer meeting just before the preacher came to the microphone. 

In my childhood I sat through thousands of those services. The preachers words felt really hollow to me as many preachers I heard in my youth.  The words about how he was saved and we would all meet again.  How we can have the assurance that there is heaven and we will have mansions. 

No worries everybody this life  is just temporary and in the end we will all be happy together if we are on the right side. I want to believe this I really do what alternative to we have. This is what all the great religions teach us that if we strive to do what is good then we will be rewarded in the afterlife. 

Sometimes I wish I could be the child that lived in the dream that God will take care of everything so we have nothing to worry about. I do believe in something greater than ourselves more like the collective energy force of all our beliefs.  You can throw the plants and animals into that mix too.

Things are weird right now and the pandemic has made us all pause and take a look at our lives. We don't have the usual distractions that keep us unconscious. Mental illness is at all time high because we are all facing things that we have put away along time. We have had to stop running. No sports-no restaurants-classrooms-shopping.  All the things we do to not be present. 

My friend suffered another breakdown and there was no rooms available in town and she had to be sent 2 hours away to get treatment. I know this is all necessary for the evolution of the human race.  It is only in times of great crisis that we breakdown and  want to make changes. 

I feel like for myself I have been watching my daily life from a distance. I did get to see the sun for an hour this afternoon and it raised my spirits a bit. I did want to mention that coming home from the funeral service there was a huge double rainbow. We took this as a sign that someone is watching over us.