What matters - Our own beliefs - Emotional un-rest

I have written a few post that for some reason I didn't post.  They must have been just for my own therapy and not for general consumption.  These are strange times and the pandemic has brought to the top emotions that have been pushed down for a long time

All our insecurities and fears plus the fact that we lost our routine and the ability to just get out and get rid of the anxiety physically has made things worse.  My sister called late one night this week and we were discussing the riots and of course we were on opposite sides. She said "all lives matter" and then began to talk about other persecuted and discriminated people. I said " you can't see their skin color from a car 30 feet away and stop them without cause" It is not the same.

Most people have felt some kind of discrimination at some point in their lives. Times when you weren't liked or didn't feel welcome in a group. Women have be discriminated against in their homes. The truth is we don't know what it feels like to be anybody but ourselves.  

We all carry emotional burdens passed down by our families. The difference is that with the African American people are the only people brought to this country against their will.  Everyone else wanted to come here or were already here. The idea that at one point your family belonged to someone else cannot ever be understood by us. No matter how long ago this was.

Everyone of us is a piece of our past. We can't solve this but we can show that we are open to listening and understanding where the pain is coming from. We all have ideas that were given to us by our families and we unfortunately believe them. Only time and ruthless evaluation of these ideas will make us see that some of our beliefs are not true in general or not true for us anymore. Asking ourselves where did this belief come from and is it serving me anymore?

We are scared because the person we believe we are today is based on out history and the history of our country. Who we think we are is built around institutions with names or statues that seemed a permanent to our lives. We want to glaze over the not so shiny parts of our past because it is easier. They aren't offensive to us so what is the big deal. Especially in the south, for some, their whole identity is wrapped up in these ideas. We lost and we have never quite got over that. Really?

It feels especially scary when the rest of our lives have already been turned upside down. Nothing seems stable right now and unless you have strong roots to keep you grounded it feels like the world is coming to and end. I imagine every generation has felt this with presidents being shot and wars. 

We got to get a grip and focus on what we can do right this moment. The thoughts and fears in our heads can cause us suffering. Life will go on like it or not we can't prepare for the unknown.  We have to look the thoughts that we are having that are hurting us and take control. 

The world and this country has always had times of unrest followed by growth. When times are good we push down all the things that we don't want to see. We are being forced to see something that has been going on forever. Nothing changes without pain and suffering.

What can we do? We can support what is right. We can force our law enforcement to protect everyone. People who don't have guns should not end up dead when in police custody. We have to make everyone accountable for their actions. This is our government and it is our responsibility to do what is right.

Personally we want to show respect for everyone. I know we will keep evolving like it or not. It will be put on the next generation to keep moving forward. I have faith that even in these difficult times we will sort this out even though we will forever be changed and that is a good thing.