Today I was getting ready to blow the leaves off in my driveway when a turkey wandered into my yard. Now I am not in a rural setting where friendly wildlife is an everyday occurrence. I decided to sweep instead of using the blower. He or she stayed out there with me for an hour standing within one foot of me. The closer I swept to her the closer she came to me.
I thought this was amazing to have a companion while doing my chores. She had no fear and walked through my pile of leaves kicking them around. I felt at total peace the whole time seeing the true miracle of life and survival even in an ordinary subdivision where the houses are built ten feet apart.
It ended when a woman who walks the neighborhood interrupted us she didn't even see the bird until I pointed her out. While we were talking the bird disappeared as if she was never there.
My holiday has been long and I wrote a few post but lost interest before actually posting them. I have been a little low "tis the season" but I am not complaining. I have to grab the time off when customers aren't looking for me so I am grateful even if it leaves me with a lot of time in my head.
Today I am finishing up a lot of final things on my do to list. The weather here is about 20 degrees hotter than normal and all the plants think is is spring and are blooming. This adds to a world that already feels upside down. You can't tell what time of year it is along with the plants.
I am okay when I just stay in my peaceful place where I just do "the next right thing" it is only when I start wondering about the rest of my life and what I want to fill it with that I get into trouble. I feel stuck and bored and wonder if I am depressed. Does everyone feel this way when they stop long enough to think about where they have been and where they are going?
Sometimes being busy just feels like I am running from something which is what I did for years missing entire decades of my life and the people in it. I want to be awake and live more deliberately.
I am back at work full on starting tomorrow and I won't have the pain or luxury of time to ruminate over the past. I am going to make some changes this year getting back out there virus or no virus. I need to find somewhere I can use my talents to make a difference. My new year's resolution if you want to call it that. Hope everyone is peaceful and enjoying the hope of a new year.
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