There is a certain speaker that I just don't enjoy his messages seem staged to me and I usually just turn him off. Today I randomly stopped and listened and it felt like it was a message just for me. The topic "embrace the emptiness"
If you believe in something greater than yourself you can be open to hear or see something that seems like it is directed to you at that moment at that time. My experience with the bird this weekend felt like a gift just like today's message felt like a gift.
I have been struggling with emptiness through the holidays. I have intentionally emptied my life over the years to find peace. I don't just want to fill every moment just to get through it so I don't feel alone. I have done that and it makes me feel drained and anxious.
The message today was about space in our lives to let something greater come in. It made me think of myself standing on an empty platform at a train station alone waiting for my train to arrive. I am not anxious I am peaceful knowing that shortly I will be on my way.
I feel my life has been touched by grace. I have overcome many obstacles and in seemingly impossible situations I have been protected time after time. I know the only credit I can take for that is really just letting go and trusting that I can't do it on my own. I look back today at all the times I felt lost and empty like I have the past few weeks and know it will pass.
The message was sent to me at just the right moment. Normally I wouldn't be home today or watching anything and again I wouldn't have been open to this particular speaker. I can accept the grace in the words "emptiness is leaving an opening for something greater than what we can imagine".
It feels awkward and for the doer in me I ask myself "what if nothing shows up and you never feel excited or inspired about life again?" Can I trust the emptiness?
I have been cleaning out my old files at work close to 300 or more files and I have also been purging at home. This has triggered an idea that I am finished with things as they are and I am moving on. This has made me feel panic inside since I don't have a plan but today's message was for me "you don't need a plan just trust the process".
With the pandemic everything is different we are all different. Our culture of doing seems more empty than ever and we all are just trying to feel like our old selves but that person doesn't exist anymore. We are forever changed and maybe that is a good thing and sitting with the emptiness is an opportunity to find out what will fill us with new joy.
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