I wrote couple of post yesterday but they felt uninspired so I didn't post them. I think I had some processing to do and just needed hash things out for myself. Writing is the best way for me to get to the heart of the matter as quickly as possible.
I am little tired today because I stayed up to watch the lunar eclipse last night which peaked around 2:30 AM. A friend of mine was doing the same and text me at 3:00 she was more dedicated to the event because she was willing to stay out in the cold longer. I just went out for a few minutes a couple of times. It was very cool.
Things are pretty calm in my life and in my spirit these days. I talked to my friend from grammar school for four hours on Saturday. It made me grateful for the mother I had even for a short time. I could have had her mother and been raised in fear. It made me see how living life from the perspective of a victim can be passed on to your children. She is still fearful like she was when we were kids believing something bad is waiting just around the corner.
We were both raised in the Pentecost and our mothers were best friends. We went to different churches and the churches reflected the differences in our mothers. My mom believed in an awesome God and that anything was possible if your motives were pure. Even when she was deathly sick she accepted that this was the way things were suppose to be and that she would be transitioning to her true destination.
She was ahead of her time and I truly believe not meant to be here long. She inspired everyone to greatness an really only cared about spiritual things. I remember at the funeral home they had to open all the other rooms just to accommodate the people coming and the flowers. They said they had never experienced anything like this before.
I spent a lot of my life feeling sorry for myself and trying to fill the void left by my mother's death but now I realize just how lucky I was to have a mother that saw the glass as half full.
My sister and I have taken two totally different spiritual paths but they both have led us to the same place and we now have more in common than we ever thought possible. We have been talking about our childhood for the first time ever. She asked me to write down any Christmas memories I have. I have done that many times for myself and will be happy to share my rose colored version with her.
To my mother Rosa Lee who taught us how to be ourselves and not who people thought we should be. I thank you for the gift you gave us so many years ago a desire to pursue a spiritual path. It has taken me far and my quest never ends. I love you mama and I know your watching over us.
picture from:PETER RAKOBOWCHUK
Montreal— The Canadian Press
To have such a positive influence in your life was good. I had that with my mother as well when I was young. Later, depression took its toll on her outlook. I am optimistic to the core though. I am grateful to be a glass half full person.
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