Home Alone - Practicing doing nothing

I stayed up late last night and watched two movies and Cupcake Wars. Today my motivation was low to continue doing projects around the house and besides I got just about everything done yesterday.

I thought do nothing today would be fun but found it next to impossible. It was the perfect day for it it was cold outside and nothing much going on. I have an appointment with a customer tomorrow so today was wide open. It really did my best just to relax and hang out with myself but it felt really uncomfortable.

I went upstairs where the sun comes in a big double window and just laid there. I thought about how animals don't worry about being productive. They make sure they have food and then they nap or chase each other around. Why is the prospect of doing nothing seem like such a burden to me.

I am driven by nature and the fact that I did most of the weeks chores in one day and then watched movies tells you a little something about me. Being still is the most uncomfortable feeling for me. I do meditate regularly but usually in the midst of a more hectic day. Something to squeeze on to my to do list.

My sponsor always says we are human beings not human doings. So today I just laid there looking out the window thinking about doing nothing. This was the best I could do. I did fall asleep thankfully for a half hour and then back to doing.

I am glad that I am taking this week off, except for meeting a customer tomorrow, it will be good for me to entertain myself and see what bubbles to the surface. I felt great yesterday and antsy today. I can live with antsy.

I saw a quote that said dogs are happier than people because they have no opinion of themselves. I going to hold that thought for as long as I can.