Leaving home - Letting go - Flow

I had a dream a few years back that I was packing up my house.  It was disturbing to me because I didn't want to leave my home. But in the dream I could clearly see me packing my breakables from the tall shelves in my living room.  At that time it made me really sad to think that I was not staying here. The women in my family have always felt they received messages from their dreams so I did take it to heart.

During my hypnotherapy we talked about the happiest day of my life being when I left home. I was free from the dysfunction and control of my step mother and father. With my permission she used that idea during our meditation.  Saying that I was ready to leave home even to the point of having me visualize packing the things I wanted to take and walking out and closing the door behind me.  I hate to say it but I really took nothing in my visualization.

Things are moving for me spiritually, physically and financially.  I did close a few deals at work which gave me a moment to exhale and really work on my personal life.  Today I had the Restore come and pick up a truck load of furniture and building supplies.  Stuff I have been holding on to since the recession just in case I needed them. I wasn't sure where I was going and wasn't willing to let go of anything.

Sadly I did give up my Mid-Century Modern dinning table.  Really nice with two leaves.  This is the only piece that gave me pangs of regret.  It really never fit in this house and in the right space it could have the life it deserves. I used it in my studio and was afraid it would get damaged.  I also have to make space for a fancy new treadmill that I bought and it will have to go in my studio when it arrives. This is the physical change I am making I had one in there before and it broke down so I know I will use it.

I feel I have been stuck for a  long time even after the depression lifted. Life felt awkward to me without a clear direction.  I thought after the breakup I would meet someone new life would progress naturally and I would have direction. I guess instead life and my inner spirit decided I needed a long time to stew and find peace and to accept myself  "just as I am." So I have done that and feel really free today.  Like I did when I left home a million years ago.

I believe everything in life has a flow and like it or not some parts of the flow can be painful and long. It can require just sitting in the same place until acceptance happens and then miraculously stuff starts to move.  Just a little at first, so don't get your hopes up, then everything starts to fall into place. I feel I am finally moving not literally from my home but I am no longer dissatisfied with life.

I have packed up my living room stuff like the dream preparing for the kitchen remodel. So that part of the dream did come true. I decided to bless my furniture before they picked it up.  I prayed that it would find a home and give someone the comfort that it gave me when I used it.  I know it sounds crazy I think we leave our energy where every we go so it makes sense to me that our belongings carry the same energy.  That is why it is hard to let go of those family things even if they don't work.

So if you are stuck don't feel like it is forever.  You are moving forward even if it is so slow you can't see or feel it.  Things are happening inside your spirit is healing and you will be stronger when the healing is done.  Like me you may be leaving home again.  Taking charge of your own destiny instead of letting other people have power over you.  It is your life and the only one we are sure we have so don't let anyone stop you.