Monday, May 18, 2020

Finding balance - A prison cell or a place of comfort

It has been hectic here with everyone putting there toe into the water and experiencing life post pandemic with specific rules for living. It seems a mixed bag since we don't have any detail guidelines from our fearless leader.  I watched the governor of New York take an hour to go step by step on how businesses should handle reopening there and thought "wow clear instructions- how refreshing."

I went and got my hair done on Saturday.  I know we are lucky or maybe not to be able to do some normal activities in our lives.  Who ever thought that a salon could be life threatening. It was a mixed bag with all the staff wearing mask and some of us patrons wearing ours. One larger red face man wasn't wearing one and he looked like he might have stopped by the bar before deciding to get a hair cut. Clearly not concerned with a pandemic. Everyone steered clear of  him if they could.

I get it people feeling like let's just get on with life especially if you can't feed your family.  Most people can't afford to not work and we can't just shut the world down forever.  If your older you have experienced a lot of life and maybe feel it is worth the risk to enjoy the time you have left.

We don't know the future and we don't know where this virus is going. It is the nature of viruses to adapt quickly to any hostile environment and it adapting depending on the person it is infecting. A moving target which reminds me of tracking hurricanes.  How the "cone of uncertainty" is watched constantly and is never accurate.  Even when it does hit one house might be wiped out and the one next door untouched. Maybe one is built better than the other.

Life is a gamble and we have to choose for ourselves what we are willing to risk to move forward. For myself I am staying six feet away from other people when I can and I am wearing a mask when I can't. I am meeting people daily with my work but I don't have a family or anyone to bring the virus home to so that makes a difference.  It is my choice to get on with life.

For those people still on lock down I feel for you and hope you can find ways to entertain yourself.  It is spring and nature is waking up and there is a lot to do.  I find just opening a window helps me to feel more free like I am not in a box.

I have to admit that I am built for isolation and enjoy be exiled to my home. It is my favorite place.  I use to beat myself up about not wanting to be social. I was very social for a lot of years but found it draining emotionally.  It made me feel like I was normal and like I had a family,  I liked creating something that other people enjoyed even though most of the time I was isolated in the kitchen.

During this time I have really embraced that part of me that prefers my own company.  It makes makes me feel less awkward being told to isolate. It has given me permission to be myself instead of wishing I was more like other people.

I get a lot of interaction with my profession and an equal amount of time alone and if  I can balance those two things I feel happy and content. Finding your own peace is what life is all about.  We are all locked inside our heads all the time and we have to decide whether it is a prison cell or the most interesting and comforting place we can be.








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