Saturday, March 27, 2010
I haven’t written in a month because I have been working internally to accept the person I have become. I am not thinking too much which is strange in itself. I have felt as though I am finally free from my past and the future is uncertain so I am just bobbing along in today.
All this time I have been waiting for the old me to return and what I realized is this is me without the pain of my story. The story I have carefully recreated in my mind over the years reliving every painful detail. I am finished with that part of my life now and can create a new life of my on choosing. We don’t choose our families and we couldn’t control what happen to us as children but we can choose to face that pain and then recognize that reliving it in our heads doesn’t free us to live life today.
Getting use to being free from the past feels very strange to me I have built my world around that pain and spent a lot of time focused on facing those demons. I never thought that I would have to adjust to having peace of mind.
Today’s picture was taken over my house of a hawks it is believed they represent the ultimate in spiritual awareness. Taking a look at life from a higher more spiritual place.