I have been standing in front of my sink for the past half hour eating Scuppernongs that I bought at the farmers market today. If you don't know what they are they are a type of grape with a thick skin that is not edible and their inside are thick and full of seeds. So what is to great about them well they have pretty tasty juice and they remind me of my dad.
When I was growing up we lived in the suburbs outside a large southern city. We had a nice little house on a corner lot that sloped from the front of the house to the back. My dad decided one day after eating Scuppernongs that he wanted to plant a grape orchard on the side of the house and he did.
He dug sixteen holes for sixteen post and strung wire between them and planted Scuppernongs and Muscadime grapes. This was before my mother got sick. We already had a big organic garden on the corner that annoyed the neighbors because it blocked the view of on coming cars when they were leaving the subdivision. They didn't complain too much once the vegetables started coming in.
I think about my dad every time I eat Scuppernongs I think about how after my mom died and he remarried he never planted another thing. Was all the love he put into growing just for her?
I think we give up things when we lose people we love whether they pass away or just leave. A little part of us that relates the activity to a happier time. We want to erase the memory to forget there was ever that time that the person was part of our lives.
I loved my dad even though he left me behind with the gardening. Because I am like him and have experienced loss myself I know that letting go of who I was make life a little easier.
Today I am at peace about my dad and about my life and can enjoy the memories of Scuppernongs and my daddy's orchard.