Tuesday, July 10, 2018

"Who cares!" - Dreams

I have been having some strange dreams lately.  This morning I woke up after an old friend and I were out driving around in our pajamas's or at least I was in my pajamas when we spotted an deli with what looked liked some yummy treats.  It was just a store front with everyone just standing around sampling things through a window.

I remember asking my friend "do you think they will notice I am in my pajamas?"  She replied, "who cares!"  When got out of the car one of the guys started treating us like real customers offering up incense sticks as a gift. His partner gave us the once over and shock his head at the other guy and he withdrew his offer. They did not speak English and I figured we were in another country.

I don't give much credence to dreams.  I think they are usually a mixture of bad TV and a late dinner.  If I had to interpret this one I would say that I miss my friend. She was a bit of a bully and ran off during my dive into blackness. It is of course more complicated than that.  She was emotionally shut down except for anger and couldn't really relate to the profound grief I was going through losing my relationship and the life I once had.

She told me that she complained to her husband about my extended grief and he said  " sure you would be over me in about five minutes."  I wondered if that was true.  They have split since then and I imagine that it wasn't that easy.  She had what appeared to be the good life but he traveled and she was lonely. When he did come home he spent his free time at the local bars.  He was really into music.

She wanted a man that was into the spiritual not the spirits.  She complained to me for years about him and I suggested she go to my counselor.  She did go and then they went and then he announced he wanted out. This was about the same time as out friendship ended.  I always wondered if she blamed me for the push for counseling.  I had heard here pain for many years and wanted her to find some relief so I don't accept the blame. 

I saw my counselor a year ago and she said my friend was doing well and was very happy.  I thought that it was good that she had moved on and found some happiness.  I have thought of calling her but I have a hard time going back where I have already been at least willingly.

I know sometimes if I am honest I find myself repeating the past.  Even if it is different places and faces the underlying theme is the same.  I gravitate towards the familiar what and who feels really comfortable. I have known different versions of my father throughout my life along with a few others.  I figure that is the relationships I am still working on.

In my family dreams are messages from God and are to be taken seriously. In my dream I guess I could say first come as you are and partake of every morsel offered. Don't mind the judgment of some people it only affects you if you let it.  You might miss out on some freebies offered to everyone else but "who cares!"

1 comment:

  1. I do believe dreams have meaning, especially when I dream a similar 'theme' 3 nights running for example. Every dream I remember leaves me with an overall feeling, and I've learned to be aware of these, they usually find their place in reality...