I am pretty much back to work and grateful to have business in this uncertain time. It is funny that I was beginning to enjoy not feeling that underlying anxiety of "you must do more". Being in sales and living a life where your income is based solely on whether your clients do the job or not is a daily reality. Ironically customers are unlikely to go with you if they sense this underlying anxiety. You have to sincerely let go of the outcome if you can't do this they can feel it.
The way I do this is that I have to trust that I will be provided for and that if I don't get this particular job then there will be another one. I ask myself "will the outcome change what I will be having for dinner tonight?" This is the only way I can live with the uncertainty of the work I do and really the uncertainty of life in general.
The analogy I use is that I am a gardener and I am constantly planting and harvesting. I keep jobs in every stage so I will have something closing all the time. I am actually made for this type of work because it means I have a variety of things to work on and people to work with. It satisfies my mind that never stops wanting to be entertained and challenged.
I have learned to trust myself that if I am not whipping myself to get something done now that it is okay. I must intuitively know that I have time and will meet the deadline. I have to be patient with myself and know that I need breaks from the chaos so I can be more focused when I am working.
I also know that timing is everything and if someone isn't ready you just have to wait until they are. Sometimes people have things going on in their lives that change their priorities for the moment. Luckily right now everyone is stuck at home looking around and watching HG TV and thinking about projects they want to get done.
I am not always so zen about my circumstances and sometimes I hear "you should be working today" even if it is my official day off. I always feel that I could be doing more no matter how much I work that is the nature of any business where you are getting paid based on what you are bringing in and not a job for everyone.
Managing uncertainty isn't really possible but having that little talk with yourself when anxiety is bubbling up is something we all must do. For me I say to myself "is there anything that can be done about that today?" If it is state of the world or the economy or lets not forget the pandemic the answer is no. I can then focus on the small stuff that is a part of my day and this moves me forward.
If I am beating myself up about not being motivated I ask myself "is this an emergency - this thing you don't really want to do today?" The answer is mostly no and the deadline is an arbitrary one I have put on the project and therefore I can change it.
I love my job and I am good at it even if my garden right now is not producing anything. I have been planting for a long time and can see a few sprouts coming up here and there so I have to trust the process and be patient.
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