Well today is the day the ending of my business. I have been totally crazy busy and not looking forward to the face to face meeting at the attorney's office.
Living life from a spiritual point of view and dealing with people who are living solely in this world, my judgement, lets just say is difficult. I have to love and protect myself even in the face of danger and attack. Yes I said danger and attack. Just like in a love relationship what was once love and roses turns into war of the roses in the end.
Why does it have to be that way? I think we make someone an enemy in order to justify our attack on them. You don't want to think of yourself as angry, greedy or mean so they have to be the villain.
I think I am feeling a little residue from my own past intimate relationships today but this time I have to say "I didn't pick this person" or did I? We were thrown together when we didn't have many options the business was going down and we had to save it. Once that was done the greed set in and now off to the divorce courts we go.
It easy to think you have done it all alone when times are good. At the top of the mountain there is only sunshine. But it has been my experience that you can't live at the top of the mountain for very long. Life is just like that always changing. I have been at the bottom and for me there is no place but up.
My opportunity or lesson right now is to take care of myself. Stand up for myself and know that if I do things because they are good for me and not because they will hurt someone else it is the honest route and God will take care of the rest.
I have moved on mentally, spiritually and physically. I want this to be over but I am not willing to give it away just for the sake of peace. I do have to support myself.
I can admit I wasn't a great partner and I can admit neither was she. It is time to move on and lets hope that happens today.