I had a night of interrupted sleep at about 4 am I just woke up for no apparent reason. I turned on my favorite TV preacher which usually puts me back to sleep. The words are so familiar from many sleepless nights that I can usually go back to sleep quickly.
My roommate wakes up at 5 and her dogs likes to bark through breakfast. When I am normal sleeping I don't hear the dog. After the second waking I began to dream about boats and beaches. It is sketchy now that the day has passed.
Oddly enough when I woke up I had some sort of bite on the left side of my face. I felt like I had gotten a shot of Novocaine. What a way to start the 8:30 shift. No one noticed but it didn't help my mood.
When I got to work I faced a pile of work and felt like it was too much. Maybe I was tired but my mind was against me telling me I am too old to work this hard and that I would never be able to catch up with my co-workers. By the afternoon I had cleared my desk and it was business as usual.
On my way to an appointment this afternoon I gave myself a pep talk. This is all temporary the day, the job and even life it is my view of the moments passing that make the difference. Then I addressed the practical stuff. "You have only been there less than 6 months they have been there years and even decades. How can you expect to feel as confident as they do?"
I ended the day with a an impromptu dinner with friends and I am sure I will get some sleep tonight.