Thursday, October 8, 2015

Summers Past - Gratitude and loss

The mother of my best friend in grammar school died this past Monday.  She was also the best friend of my own mother. My mother and my best friends mother were polar opposites just my friend and I are polar opposites.

We ended up together because of our mothers and because we went to the same kind of Pentecostal church. When my mother got sick my friends father was in the process of divorcing her mother. Something back then in our church just wasn't done. She never remarried because she believed that it would be adultery in the eyes of God. This didn't phase my friends father who immediately married his secretary.

When I left home at 16 my friends mother let me live with them.  There were six of us total all working and all with our own cars. Except her little brother who was still in middle school. I slepted in the garage that I shared with a car and several cats. I did have a bed and my own refrigerator. I also had a washer and dryer conveniently located at the end of my bed.

Even though she was strict in her beliefs she also was a live and let live person.  She did lecture me about staying out all night on occasion.  I usually was the last one in and the first on out. I had a boyfriend and a full time management job at the local Hardees.

Who could blame me for not rushing home to the car waiting for me. Truthfully I loved it. It was true freedom for me not having to deal with the emotional abuse from my stepmother. I could just live and work in peace.

It was only for one summer and by the end of that summer the relationship with my first alcoholic had ended. I thought it was true love for us both until he decided he needed a second girlfriend. I was devasted as always and decided I needed a geographical cure. I  packed up my truck and moved south. Where I have been ever since.

I am grateful for that summer and I am grateful that she took me in without hesitation. She was loving and generous.

I didn't stay in touch over the years because that how life is sometimes. I have spoken to my friend in the last few years. I did cry when I got the message it made me think of all that has happened over the years  a collision of the past and the present.

I decided to go out of respect and my friend has ask me to stay with her and her family. It feels weird but somehow right that I go.

It makes me want to believe that there is more after this life and maybe she is now reunited with my mother after 40 something years.


  1. She was a part of your story, of course it's right. I'm sorry for your loss, and deepest condolences to your friend. It's a tough one.

  2. Awww, I am sorry for your loss. Its amazing how painful those losses of those long time, always present women can be for us. My childhood friends mom passed away a few years ago and I cried off and on for 2 weeks. She had been a huge part of my childhood and I had loads of stories and memories of her. I was totally taken by surprise at how her passing affected me. I hope the stay with your friend is a good one. Healing for all.