Today while driving to work I got behind the recycle truck on a single lane road and they were stopping every few minutes and it was too busy to pass so I waited. It reminded me of a time I was in a car with someone when the same thing happened and I went around. He couldn’t believe that I was passing on a double line and breaking the rules. It was a slow morning and perfectly safe and besides the road we were on had about 50 houses on it we would have been there for hours.
This reminded me of how rigid I was before I started the recovery process. How I wouldn’t trust my own judgment or think outside the box. With the program everything is suggested and this leaves a lot to interpretation and that can be scary in the beginning. We want to be safe and be sure that every decision we make is the right one and that is impossible. Sometimes we are going to be right and sometimes things will not turn out as we expected. Making choices for ourselves is part of our growth and realizing that we always do our best is all we can do. Taking responsibility for our own lives can bring back the insecurities of the past and the mistakes we have made but we are more equipped now to do what is right for us and accept the outcome.
So today I waited for the recycle truck to pick up a few loads and it gave me time to think about writing today so it was the right choice for me today. Rules are for our protection and can’t always cover every possible scenario so I have to use my own judgment and trust that I am capable of making the right choices for me today.