Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Spoon Feeding - Expectations

I had to tell someone today that their kitchen would not be ready for Thanksgiving. I did not know until yesterday that this was the expectation. The project was turned over to the general contractor and he told me this morning that he was unaware of this expectation. It is part of the job.

I my business it is a delicate balance between the expectation of the customer and the reality of construction and design. I try to gently inform my customers the reality of the process of a renovation before we get started but most people don't want to hear it. There is no way to factor in the time it takes for people to make selections or if some unknown construction issue is found.

First it always cost more than you would expect and then it always takes longer than you think it will take. I have found that the process starts out based on generic selections and what happens when it gets down to it we want something nicer and that cost more a little here a little there. I call it spoon feeding and I do it to myself, I want to deny the reality and then I just adjust as each expenses comes along.

It has been a hard lesson for me to realize that not everyone really wants to know what it is really going to cost. I know what your thinking, you are thinking well I do and there is the rare bird that really does.

If I bring in my general contractor and he gives the whole cost up front every one thinks it is too much and they are in shock, even me. So they go off on their own and hire individuals and in the end it usually cost about the same. It just feels better not to see the big picture.

I think the remodeling senario translates to most situations. When I first came to the program I couldn't even see the alcoholism to admit my husband was an alcoholic seemed so permanent so uncurable a label, to much. Then finding out that I was the one with the problem whoa wait just one minute, then it started to sink in and I adjusted and started to see some truth in those words. If you told me it would take me this many years and I would always be in recovery myself, I would have walked out the door.

Life is a process and we have to accept things when we are ready and some people are never ready and that is not our responsibility. I can only do my best and accept that spoon feeding can be a little easier on everyone.

1 comment:

  1. I can so relate to what you are saying in that the cost of refurbishing my life in recovery has been so much more than I ever expected. Thank God for the spoon feeding and grateful I am for find a world better than I expected. One day at a time.