Saturday, October 29, 2011

H.A.L.T. - Finding balance

I have been so thrilled to have my energy back that I have been over doing it. I have so much I want to get done that I can hardly sleep at night. Three years of depression and forcing myself to do even the smallest things I just want to make up for lost time.

As a result of over doing it I had a little bout with the crazies this morning. I didn't sleep much last night and got up early then I fed my neighbors dogs, got dressed and went to work. I hit the door running.

First I started cleaning the mess I made yesterday. I had a bunch of cabinets torn out and everything that was in them was sitting in the middle of the office floor. I am not good with too much visual stimulation. I had to get things in order but where to start when everything is upside down. It is like moving trying to decide what stays and what goes.

I was feeling a little manic an decided to call a friend. I couldn't find my purse. I panicked, had I left it on top of the car? Did I leave it at home? Did I leave it on the front counter and someone came in and took it?

I closed the store and got in my car and drove home. To my surprise it wasn't there. On the way back I started thinking of all that I would have to do to replace the loss. The time the money on and on. Then I told myself to get at grip it wasn't the end of the world. Then it occurred to me that I should have called my phone while I was at the office.

When I got back to the office I did just that and lo and behold there it was sitting in a chair facing the opposite direction. Relief flooded my mind. Why was I acting so crazy?

In the program there is an acronym H.A.L.T hungry, angry, lonely or tired. Covering most of the reasons for crazy behavior. I think I am 4 out of 4 today. The angry flared up when a mosquito was following me around the office biting me. I haven't seen him in an hour he must be on a break right now.

I am out of balance. This is always the problem when I have a problem. Old behavior for me all or nothing. It is a character defect sometimes and an asset at other times. I can get a lot done in short amount of time but sometimes I don't know when to quit.

I am going to leave here and get some food. Then go home and take a nap or watch some tube or both. I am taking tomorrow off to re-group and see if I can find something fun to do. The dog sitting ended today so I will be free to sleep in and take care of myself.


  1. The beautiful thing is we get to learn how to take care of ourselves today. I know those crazy days. Remember when we didn't know how to stop and the insanity just continued? Progress, not perfection, I have to remind myself.

  2. Sounds like a good plan to relax. I don't like losing things so I do my best to just back track. But when I am really tired, my good thinking goes out the window.