Friday, June 15, 2012

Who Cares - Drama Free

Who cares that is what I want to say today. I am tired and I want to be somewhere else doing something else but that isn't going to happen. I have customers coming in this afternoon that will fall out of their chairs when I give them the price.  It seems pointless you can't get quality, service and price for next to nothing. One of the three goes out the window.

I am taking care of my neighbors dogs this week and it has been less than stellar. They haven't traveled much lately and the dogs are in agony. Especially the one German Shepard who was abused and doesn't really interact much.  I can tell my energy is not good this week because she won't come near me.

I know she is in agony because the minute I leave she starts howling and basically howls all night. I lay in my windowless bedroom trying to sleep and I can here her next door howling. Our houses are close together but not that close. I am sure I am the only one hearing it because most of the neighborhood is retired and they don't have the super hero hearing that has been passed down to me on my mother's side. I watch TV on the number one.  The point is I am not sleeping.

I haven't resolved my issues with the contractor we have been working with. He probably thinks I have gone of the deep end and chocks it up to me being female.  I am over the drama.

I have learned a lot just over the past few months. That staying with who you know because the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know isn't the only way. With the crisis I faced at work I had to try new contractors and what I found was that it was nice to be without the family drama.

Sometimes when you work with people they become like family and the respect goes out the window and drama level goes up. Everyone takes everyone for granted and everyone feels used and abused. It is very dysfunctional around here. It is better than it use to be but when you know too much about a person it affects the way you relate.

So going outside this make shift family we have here is a good idea. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. I have worked hard to be happy living a drama free life.

Before my recovery in Al-Anon I was addicted to drama. I didn't know it but I was drawn to the drama the alcoholic in my life created because it reminded me of my childhood. The chaos felt familiar and being in crisis mode kept my ADD mind stimulated.

I didn't want to believe this when someone pointed this out. I wanted to think that it was just bad luck on my part. Life was out to get me but really I was addicted to the drama. Like a warm blanket something to do someone to blame.

I had to let go. I had to learn to be comfortable with no drama. Once I reached this point drama actually repelled me. I took steps to stay away from the people in my life that created it for me. In the program I met people that were like me and for the most part we have existed drama free. Not crisis free but drama free. Everything isn't a crisis unless I make it one.

A lot of babbling today but the gist is who cares. I can let today bring what it will bring and not let it affect me. I can trust that all is well and tomorrow it will just be something else.


  1. Realizing I have a taste for drama was a hard pill for me to swallow as well. I'm still processing it and trying to catch myself when I get swept up into (or try to create) drama.

    Sorry about the stressed-out dog. I heard you can give cats half a Benadryl (I think! Don't take my word for it!) to calm them down if they're upset while in the car for long distances. If dogs are okay with that, I might try it as well as a few strong mugs of Sleepytime Tea. Hope you're able to get some rest tonight.

  2. I can relate completely! Our animals (and those that we care for while their people are away) are very sensitive to our energy...

    I also use to thrive on drama and attempting to control everyone else's drama. It was exhausting... I'm glad today drama also disgusts me and I tend to steer away as much as possible. I like how you said, "Not crisis free but drama free". Very well said and true. I love that Al-Anon has helped me build my character to live a less drama life in a chaotic world.

    Thank you for sharing!

  3. Dearest Grace...thank you for missing me. I appreciate that you noticed my absence and miss very much keeping in touch with all my friends here. I will try to do better. Recently, as my sponsor and I have been going over Step 6, we have been looking at character defects that I want to hold on to. They worked for soooo long, and now I'm learning that I can live without them. Slowly I am learning this. Drama is hard to give up, especially as I am looking at this from my writing class point of view. I think I need to be in a panic in order to be creative, but I'm told that doesn't necessarily have to be the case. I'm trying something new on all levels and slowly learning how to be calm, on time, and still putting the work out there.