I lost a friend today. I knew it was coming but I wasn't prepared fully. Friendship do die on occasion but usually a slow death and by the time it happens you hardly notice.
This is hard because I was blindsided and thought we would be friends forever.
My mind and heart want to make it my fault or at least try in some way to explain my side. But she isn't interested in anything I have to say right now.
I am beyond working so hard to be loved or liked. I do my best and accept the results. I admit when I have made a mistake but I can't be responsible for the feelings of others. The program says " what you think about me is none of my business". This use to make me really mad and I thought is was and excuse to not care about other people and their feelings.
I get it now I have to just be who I am and love people where they are whether they love me or even like me. Anything else has strings attached.
I believe everything is part of life's process and we all have to find our own way. We are being divinely guided and there are no mistakes.
Maybe I am not suppose to be with her right now. She is going through some serious personal stuff. Maybe she needs to be on her own like I did I don't really know and maybe I never will.
I feel like my life is really taking a different direction these days. I feel like the universe is severing the attachments I have to this town. Maybe I will be moving on soon.
I love her an will miss her. I wish her the best that this life has to offer.