When I have a reoccurring theme in my life such as I have now where I am being rejected by people who I thought were my friends I have a hard time distinguishing between my part ant there part. Did I do something to deserve this or am I attracting this the way they talk about in the Law of Attraction.
When I take responsibility for everything I get worn out and end up stuck. I need to accept that I don't always cause the problem so I can't fix it. When I have relationship problems it makes me think something is wrong with me instead of accepting that sometimes things happen and relationships end.
People leave sometimes voluntarily and sometimes not as when my mother died. It feels like every time I think someone has my back they disappear. I think maybe God wants to show me that I can be strong on my own. I don't have to have a back up plan he is my back up plan.
Things are really changing in my life right now. It makes me want to whine like I child. I want things to be stable for awhile this of course is an illusion of the human kind. Nothing last forever good or bad so if you hang on long enough then you can see your life transform.
Letting go of the idea that I am in control relieves me from my suffering. When I can do this everything comes together usually in a way that I never imagined.