Sunday, February 14, 2016

Music - Feelings - Love

I stumbled upon this great band this week on Youtube and have listened to several concerts and was planning on collecting some of the their music when after googling them I saw that the lead singer left his wife of 13 years for a movie star.  Now I am not interested in listening anymore.

I know it seems ridiculous I don't know the circumstances but it struck a cord within me. You commit to someone through thick and thin and when they finally make it the first thing that happens is you get dumped. You don't get to enjoy the success after enduring the tough years together.  

My reaction to this unknown situation did make me realize that you never get over being left by the person you expected to spend the rest of your life with. Especially when they seem like they have found everything that the two of you dreamed of together with someone else. 

Luckily we all aren't famous and don't have to see the joy of the ones we lost in pictures. All though these days with the internet you can go out and cause yourself some pain on Facebook if you want.  I have done that a few time but for the most part my ex's are pretty private and not doing too much posting out there.

It never feels good especially today when it seems others have moved on and you haven't. You imagine that everyone in the world is in love and out celebrating Valentines Day. I say imagine because that is just what I am doing and from experience no relationship is as it appears on the outside. 

When it comes to relationships we can do a lot intellectualizing.  We talk about how things just happen and you fall out of love and it is all for the best. We can say we were young and we out grew each other but in the end it still hurts no matter how many years have past.

I have finally accepted that I have feelings of sadness this time of year. February is a month of losses for me including the loss of my mother. I have to acknowledge those losses because when I don't they surface in some unexplained way which make me feel nuts.

I know the sadness will pass more quickly if I just embrace it just for today.   If you live and love there will always be loss that is just life. 

I won't be listening to that band again for now. I will get over it once I stop transferring my feelings to them. In one of their concerts it was mentioned that one of the love songs cost a lot of money. I guess the ex-wife did get some monetary payoff for those thirteen years. Enough to mention it on stage. That did make me smile. 

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