Friday, May 21, 2010

Step One- Admitting things are unmanageable

I talked to someone that was out on a ledge today and ready to jump. I could immediately feel the pain of living with someone else’s addiction. The thoughts that run through your head tend to be I can fix this, I should be able to get this person to stop doing this and if they really wanted to they would stop. It is hard to accept that it is a disease and the disease is in control. It is not personal but it feels personal it affects your every day life and without help you become just as crazy as the person with the addiction. You are obsessed with finding a solution or just obsessed with tracking their every move.

It is a family disease and takes over your life slowly and you wake up one day and you don’t recognize yourself. You have given yourself to the disease it has removed all traces of the person you once were. This is the bottom for most of us and if you are lucky you know to go to a meeting.

Getting to this place was a long and painful process for me but when I did get there I was ready to surrender the pain was so great and I was exhausted.
There is a reason they call it step one. Admitted we were powerless and that our lives have become unmanageable.

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