Monday, June 21, 2010

Dealing with the Dead-Fathers Day

I didn’t realize it was Fathers Day until late yesterday and this morning I woke up with some thoughts about my own father.

My dad, actually we called him daddy was a quiet man with strong convictions about a limited number of things. What does that mean well it means he limited his passion to a few things and as long as you didn’t disrespect those things he was very agreeable in an almost super human way.

He was the center of my emotional issues for most of my life. I wasn’t one of the things he was passionate about. He loved me and I didn’t doubt that I just wanted to be on that list of things he was passionate about. I have dealt with that finally after many years working on being enough for myself and realizing that whether your parents made you feel worthy you are worthy.

Someone brought up in the meeting yesterday, that even though their parents didn’t do everything right, they actually passed down some good stuff. So with that I have to give my daddy credit.

He gave me the ability to analyze things. He gave me the ability to fix just about anything and solve just about any problem. He gave me a work ethic that has made me successful in everything I have ever attempted to do. He showed me that the tortoise will always prevail as long as he keeps moving forward.

Even though this is difficult to write he gave me one thing that has sustained me through out my life, the belief in a power greater than myself. I loved him and I wanted him to be passionate about me but the list was short and I was not on it and that was hard for me to accept. This is where we are different my list is long and I am passionate about everything and everyone on it.

So there you have it my tribute to Fathers Day. One last thing my Mother died when she was 41 and I was 11 and it is easy for me to make her the fantasy mother. My father died at 70 giving him almost 30 more years to be more human and not meet my expectations. I love you Daddy and hope heaven was all that you expected it to be.

No comments:

Post a Comment