I recently picked up a the book How To Win Friends And Influence People for a quarter at the Goodwill. It was first published in the 1940's. I like to read old classic self-help books just to see if they are still relevant in today's world.
With this book you first have to get past the total absence of the mention of women. It is assumed that only men would be involved in business dealings. This is a book about being the best salesman possible.
In a Nutshell
Six Ways To Make People Like You
1) Become genuinely interested in other people
3) Remember the at man's name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language
4) Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5) Talk in terms of the man's interest.
6) Make the other person feel important--and do it sincerely
We all want to be liked whether we admit it or not. At the very least we want to be appreciated. I spent a good part of my life rejecting the notion that I wanted to be liked. The child in me found out early that people are unreliable and can't be trusted. It is best to only rely on yourself.
The only problem with that is the when I had a real problem that me, myself and I could not solve it caused a loop in my head. Thinking, thinking and more thinking and still no solution.
I still do that sometimes and I recently looped myself into despair and depression. They say my best thinking got me here. I once said to my counselor " I am fully self-supporting declining all outside contributions." She thought that was pretty hilarious. I meant it. I didn't like the idea of relying on anyone.
I don't really think that way now.
When we recently met she said that my life isn't balanced enough between my work and my personal life. Making my work crisis more important than would be if I had balance. That my need for isolation served its purpose and I have to start being more social and meeting new people. I do think I am ready for that now.
I think Dale Carnegie's tips are still relevant today. He does stress the importance of being sincere and trying to find something you can truly admire in everyone no matter who they are. I do like people a lot so this is the easy part for me. I do have trouble remembering names though.
It is funny until I was an adult I always assumed Dale Carnegie was a woman's name.