Tuesday, May 1, 2012

For that I am grateful.

I have been dealing a lot with the addicted and afflicted these days including myself. I seems that in the work world right now I am swimming up stream. I had a contractor walk off a job and check himself into a hospital.

He is having a breakdown and is drinking and taking Valium. He texted me this information at 7 AM the morning we were to meet about the complaints my customer had about him. He has already started another job and now I am scrambling to get someone to finish both jobs.

A child of an alcoholic he said he has thinking about ending it all. I worked with him when I first got into the business 10 years ago and stopped because he was unreliable. I slipped and I am mad at myself for it. He needed the work and I wanted to believe he was better.

My friend in AA texted me this week saying she somehow found herself addicted to pain pills. She is weaning off of them and going through rage with the detox. She said she never had a problem with pills just boozed so it never occurred to her this could become a problem. Humm.

I have been depressed for the past week and overwhelmed with problems at work. I have been going home and crawling into bed.

I did reach out today and called a friend and asked her to come and have lunch with me. I was here alone at the showroom and couldn't leave. She said yes and for that I am grateful.

It was nice to have someone to talk to that has dealt with her own depression. I felt better just letting my feelings out. When I am depressed I blame myself for being alone without a family. I think if only I had made different choices. This is when I know I need help.

Tomorrow is another day.


  1. And you are reaching out now, in your blog. I am sorry you are in a rough spot. You are right though, tomorrow is a new day and we will see what unfolds. hang in there... ((hug))

  2. Dear friend, I'm so glad to hear from you but concerned that you are struggling with depression. I have also had my bouts with it so I know how painful it can feel. I just lean into it, allow myself to be where I am, and watch for it to pass, but reaching out is important also. At the end of October is an AA/Al-Anon convention in St. Thomas and I wrote once that I was thinking about going. I still am thinking about it. Wouldn't it be fun if you could go also and we could meet there. I would love it.