Thursday, August 12, 2010

Feeling Good-Acceptance

You go along in life thinking you will always be who you are and then you wake up one day and your someone else. Seems logical that there will be some changes here and there and you'll grow and mature but the core of you will be the same but this is not true.

When you open yourself to the possibilities and you invite life to be your teacher it can sometimes blindside you and suddenly you are not the person you thought you were. You look in the mirror and recognize the face maybe older but clearly the person you have been looking at all your life. But you have changed your mind or you have changed your spirit and your mind has followed. This can be confusing and unsettling just as confusing as this paragraph. So I will move on to the next.

It is all too much for me to absorb too many things changing in my life at the same time and I need a moment or two to absorb it all, take it all in and accept where I am and who I have become. It is really all good I have grown and wouldn't and couldn't go back.

That being said I have stepped away from this journey towards the new me and I am revisiting the not so familiar old me. The driven efficient take charge me which is good because I am broke and the old me knows how to work. This too is a part of my journey the old me feels comfortable today and I am taking care of life. I am about extremes and I know that but I usually find balance eventually.

I remember at the beginning of this journey, when I thought I knew everything and believed you are just who you are you can't do a thing about it. Interestingly enough I did think you could change other people whether they wanted you to or not. I was wrong and happy to admit that now.

Sometimes just for a moment I want I want to be one of the many people walking around unconscious and not take responsibility for my life. I am sure that is what Adam and Eve thought right after that first bite and realized they were naked.

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