Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Am I good enough? Fake it until you make it.

What am I afraid of? I stayed home today from the office to work on my resume and somehow I can't summon the courage to put my work life on paper. Is it because I am afraid I might actually get a job or is because I am afraid I might not have what it takes to go back to corporate life.

I am older but I am wiser. I am reliable and a really hard worker. I know my strengths and my weakness but am I good enough for the real world?

When I lost my job at the mortgage company when I was 40 I didn't know what I was going to do. I was middle manager working 60-70 hours a week and really burned out.

I decided to go to college for the first time in my life. I was afraid then too. I hadn't looked at a text book in over twenty years I wasn't sure I was smart enough even though I was a success in my profession.

How is it that no matter what success you have in life it isn't good enough. There is that thought that we don't really have what it takes to make the next move.

I got my degree and graduated with a high grade point average. I did have to take some prep classes but I did it. I was the oldest in my Algebra II class but I made A's even if it took me forever to finish the test. I did my best and it was good enough.

Fake it until you make it that is what the program talks about. Everybody gets scared it is what you do next that matters. This is what I keep telling myself.

1 comment:

  1. I can remember writing manuscripts for submission to publication and feeling the fear of rejection well up. I was frozen some days. Eventually, though I got through it and moved forward. You are good enough--that's what I have to keep telling myself.