I didn't sleep much last night my mind locked in on the uncertainty of my life. Sometimes sleeps has a way of showing you really how you feel as I have mentioned before. My worst fear right now is that I can't make a living in my current job. That I have made bad choices and they have resulted in a life of worrying about how I will make ends meet.
I woke up this morning with a sense of doom. Nothing has changed since yesterday just my the insecure demons living in my head that want me to be afraid. When this happens I repeat to myself I have everything I need at this moment and it is true.
A self professed million came into the showroom today full of fear. She told me that we were nearing the end of time and over night we could be socialist. Someone had made an unsolicited offer on her house and felt it was a sign from God that she needed to prepare financially for the impending doom. She found a new house she wanted right down the street from her daughter and she might need a new kitchen. Good for me.
I said maybe God was making it easier to move near her kids and grand kids. She said she never thought about it that way her husband had died last year and she really didn't need such a big house. She said she was so glad she had stopped by and then she asked me if I was a Democrat. I laughed and told the truth that I am and added that I was also financially conservative. I am watching every penny right now that makes me very conservative.
I told her that I believed that we were all in capable hands and that we have to have faith that God was in charge.
I guess fear is a part of all our lives no matter who we are it tries hard to control us. For me I just want to feel safe and I haven't felt that in a long time. Even when I am fearful just for today I won't let it control me.