I signed up for the 50,000 words in the month of November suggested by another blogger. I wrote about four pages and now that I have a deadline I don't want to write and have been doing everything to avoid it.
I have had this story in my head for a long time. Right now I am writing this blog post to avoid writing my story. Who am I to think I could really write 50,000 words by the end of November. I did ask God for a project that would keep me occupied and inspired in a good way (never forget the details) and here it is and now I am running.
This past week I actually woke up and felt excited about my life and started making plans for my future. Can this really be happening have rounded some cosmic corner. I spent my two days off rearranging my house as a designer this is a sure sign that I am happier. I guess grief takes as long as it takes and I think five years is long enough.Hopefully.
I spoke to a friend today who said she was feeling lighter too. She said she wondered if it had anything to do with the Myan Calender ending (Really). She thought maybe people in general were collectively feeling lighter.
If you live under a rock the Myan mystery is that their calendar ended this year 12/21/12 for no apparent reason and it might be great and it might not. My friend said maybe they picked a date that they thought was really far away. You know like when the old sci-fi writers picked dates they thought sounded far away and here we are living in those very times.
I told her I thought maybe the calender writer died or just got bored with his job writing the calendar. How exciting could that be anyway? They didn't know we would come along and make up dooms day scenario out of it.
It seems we love to conjure up things to be afraid of. Something is always out there trying to get us and ruin our fun. Okay if we are worried something is going to get us all the time we aren't really having much fun.
We try to prepare for every possible disaster and sometimes it's the one thing that we didn't think about that gets us. Sometime what is going to get us is obvious to everyone else and we totally ignore it.
My aunt in her late 80's worried constantly that she was going to get AIDS or be blown up by a terrorist. She refused to go to the dentist and stopped shopping at the mall. Meanwhile she weighed 300 lbs and just had open heart surgery and regularly sent her caregivers to the diner for fried squash.
So if life as we know it might end on December 21st then I guess we might as well for once relax and enjoy the time we have left or not.