Thursday, July 15, 2010

Being Boxed In

I watched Oprah the other night and the topic was about why women eat too much. It was particularly interesting and had a spiritual aspect that really for me applies to everything out of balance in my life. It reminded me of when I was 30 pounds heavier had asthma and in a relationship that was literally sucking the life out of me. It was no ones fault I felt trapped spiritually and I used my love of cooking and food to sooth my soul and the stomachs of the people I love to get through it.

I go numb with a variety of things when I don't like where I am it can be a busy schedule or food. Lately I find myself eating unconsciously and then obsessing about gaining weight which makes me want to eat. It was this show that made me think about what is really going on. Really sitting with my feelings and be conscious no matter how painful that is helps me to present and not chase after a quick fix.

When I am in pain looking for a distraction is the first thing on my list but it doesn't solve the real problem it just pushes the problem down further. Like the woman said on the show your body is not craving cheesecake it something deeper.

When I feel boxed in and nothing seems to be changing anytime soon I can only do something about right this minute. Taking a moment to just be and realizing the pain is in the resistance can sometimes sooth me. Other times nothing works and I have to just feel the pain. That sucks but inevitably it usually passes and I move on.

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