Monday, July 26, 2010

Finding Center

I did in fact take a little road trip yesterday which was just what the doctor ordered. I was far enough away that it felt like a trip but not so far I didn't want to drive back. I visited a little state park and hiked around the area for a few hours and then a thunder storm passed through and I waited it out under the brush. I have always loved storms even as a child it is the power and the way they always make things feel clean.

When the rained stopped it was really humid and the park was empty and that is how I felt empty. It was a good feeling to not try to distract myself in any way. No phones, no tv, no books, nothing but stillness. This is the place I have been trying to get to for months and after my meltdown it occurred to me that I needed time on my own away from my house and my responsibilities. Sometimes you have to get to that uncomfortable place to move forward and you can't do this if you have entertainment. It pushes back the sometimes uncomfortable truth that you are seeking and ultimately the peace you are looking to find.

So today I am back to the business which is my life. I had a restless night I woke up late went next door to let the neighbors dogs out, carried my dog out schedule my cousins move and then went to work on my day off and you know what I had no resentments. Everyone got taken care of and bonus I didn't actually have to help with the move. So it is all good.

I secretly prayed this morning that I would have to help with the move and surprise they didn't need me. I think the whole weekend covered a lot of steps.

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