Monday, September 12, 2011

I was off yesterday and couldn't get out of a funk. I went to my tried and true methods for shaking off the despair I was feeling. I read uplifting literature, I watched my favorite recorded shows and ended with a three movie marathon.

All were excellent distractions but the minute they were over the feelings reappeared. I finally decided maybe journaling would help bring the real answer to the top. I find that writing past the first page I can get to the real issue.

It seems to come back to the same thing for me, how did I end up here? Did I make bad choices in my life? Was I not enough for the people I loved. Apparently I wasn't or we would still be together. Truthfully no one is enough to meet all of another person's needs. The trick is that both people have to know that. Instead of looking for greener pastures. In long relationships you either grow together or apart.

I still feel the funk today and opted to come into the office before a late appointment today. I can't expect to feel happy every day. I can be grateful that I don't feel the way I did a few months ago.

With work at top speed I think trying to relax on my days off is hard. Going 0 to 100and back to 0 isn't that easy. I have faith that I will not be alone forever. I am just now coming out of a long period of grief and depression and starting to get strong again. I know timing is everything.


  1. I know the funk. What I tell myself is that not everyone is on the same path.

    Hope you feel stronger soon!

  2. I have had that feeling even though I am married and love my wife. The overwhelming feeling of rejection gets strong sometimes. Then I remember that I am enough, just as I am. I know that you are as well.

  3. Recently, someone told me that I could be doing everything right and still be in a funk. Accepting my own feelings without blaming myself for them was and is a novel concept. My sponsor repeatedly reminds be to be patient with myself. Time takes times.

    Just for today!