Thursday, January 6, 2011

Deer in Headlights - Moving on

I am moving out of the stunned phase about work. You know, I am sure there is a technical name for it, the part of the process one has to go through where you are like a deer in headlights. Frozen for some period of time not sure whether to move forward or run back the way you came so you just stay where you are.

I did try to move backwards by looking for a job in the mortgage industry, my old stomping ground. A successful career left behind for the uncertainty of self-employment and for something I was passionate about. It took guts to do that but it really was perfect timing as I am sure this will be. The banking industry slipped just as I was exiting, maybe I am the center of the universe after all. I will have to tell my sponsor that she was wrong.

It is not going to work. I can't go back I spent the day reading the obituaries, ok job descriptions, and my authentic self started making remarks that I cannot repeat. I am a designer now and have tasted the freedom of making my own schedule. I am no longer the person I was back then and I have to accept that now. I never hated my job or loathed going to work each day and putting out fires can be quite creative.

So today I have made a decision to make this work. It might be easier to start from scratch and abandon the owner but I think I can come up with something everyone can work with. Besides what self-respecting Al-Anon picks easy over challenging. Where's the fun in that?

I am glad I am out of the stunned phase and I can move forward. Now that I think about it it is really the three A's Awareness, Acceptance and Action. I know it won't be easy and I still might have to work nights in my old profession but, it will only be temporary.


  1. it sure is a load off the shoulders once one makes a decision, knows where one is going again...

  2. I am sure you will rise to the challenge.