Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Scribbles - Sharpie Therapy
Now that I am for the most part I am feeling my old self again, ok not really my old self, who needs that, I am hoping to share some lighter things, technically this isn't one of them.
The scribble above was done at a very low point of my grief. When my mind had me in the shadows and I just could not do anything of any consequence, so upon the suggestion of my therapist I started a doodling. She had me do one while we talked and it looked similar to the one above. She pointed out the fact that everything was connected but separate. Her thought was that I still felt connected even in my grief.
I continued to doodle, it was very soothing to just focus on the paper and the clarity of just pen and paper. No judgement of myself just whatever came out. I wish I could do that with myself more often, the no judgement part. I am not the way I was when I started the program back then I had nothing good to say about myself or anyone else for that matter.
I find it interesting that all of my doodles are curved and fluid and usually without lifting the pen. This is the opposite of what is my preference, I like straight lines. This is why designing kitchens, with all those boxes and tile with all the squares really suites me. I can only think my sub-conscious is trying to balance that out for me.
Most of my scribbles are black and white. I bought myself some colored markers but found that I was happier doodling in black in white. That seems appropriate since life is easier when you think everything is black and white. I think in the case of my drawings it was one less decision.
I thought I would share something that worked for me when I was just trying to make it through a dark place in my life. I am happy to report that I am not there anymore and being able to spend the last two days mostly with myself is proof enough for me.
Just for today I can accept myself as I am. I have to believe that it is possible.