Monday, December 6, 2010

Past Present Future

Pretty quite day overall but it didn't seem like it was going to be that way. I had an emergency call from my cousin because her cable and phone had been turned off and she needed help and was calling from a neighbors house. She has a trust fund that she lives on and can't manage her money.

My cousin has some learning disabilities and only lives in the present moment. What that means is if she has money in her hand, then it must be spent. I am a co trustee and before my aunt died we set it up so she gets a check every other week. The rent and utilities are paid directly and she still is out of money the first day.

She seems to call when I am in my own crisis but today it didn't bother me. She usually works it out on her own or does without until the next check. I had four calls before I got out of bed this morning. I could hear the ring tone from my bed and felt a sense of dread as it kept going off. I thought it was her and then I imagined all kind of other trouble that might be lurking for me out there. This is the nature of working for yourself and the fact that you are never really off.

I decided to take a different approach today. I got up made some coffee and came back to my bed and got out my journal. I wrote a little and then wrote my intention for the day asking HP to help me find joy in the day no matter what presented itself.

I got dressed checked my voice mail and decided not to call my cousin back. No cable or phone is not a life or death matter. The other calls were work related and one said call her back tomorrow the other I met her to make a final decision on her tile design. We ended up having lunch and then I took her to my favorite art store and then we went to the antique mall. My favorite things combined with work.

I then got a call from a friend and she invited me for dinner. We had Thanksgiving again and then we watched while she decorated for Christmas. She had ornaments that her kids made when they were in kindergarten. Her daughters are grown and one was there when she put the disintegrating angel, from the first grade, on top of the tree.

I don't celebrate the holidays much anymore. That is where I am in my life right now and maybe that will change next year. It is about family and tonight I thought of my childhood and about the special things my mother did for us as part of the holidays. She also saved every ornament we made. Seeing my friend and her family made feel a little Christmas cheer in my heart.

1 comment:

  1. Nice that we can relax and not have to solve all the problems. I'm finally seeing that our circumstances can be our greatest teacher. My Higher Power just uses the tools at hand. I just have to wait and trust.