Sunday, December 12, 2010

Boundaries and Cookies

It is really cold here today and windy. We don't have the best heat here in the south so it feels especially cold and the wind is actually howling. We are pretty wussy down here if it drops below 60 and tonight it will be in the 20's. We make up for it by enduring the sweltering summer heat and 100% humidity with little complaining, OK maybe more than just a little. I put some of my plants in the garage but decided the ones on the lower deck are on their own.

I am taking care of my neighbors dogs this week while they are on a trip. They seem to travel a lot even with two year old twins and a 5 year old. They are of hardy stock and pretty organized. Somebody in the family has a timeshare that they regularly go to. They use to call me at the last minute until one time I said I couldn't handle nine days. Since then they give me more notice.

I have trouble with boundaries and so do they. When I first moved in his dad was really sick and they had to leave suddenly so I volunteered. Then it became a pretty regular thing and an assumption was made that I would always be available. I really didn't mind until I was already over loaded and I got that call. I didn't answer right away, I felt ugh in my stomach, I was already overbooked and running from yet another bout of grief and or depression so I compromised and said to find someone else for the weekends. So they did and now they give me more notice.

This time it is different and I feel great. I stopped running so fast and let whatever grief or depression that was left catch up with me in August, to my surprise it didn't kill me. It held me down for a few weeks and stomped on me but then I got up and brushed myself off and said "is that all you got?" and went on to sort out the mess I had made while running. I started slowing addressing those things I had ignored while being under water emotionally.

I actually love those dogs. They are a sharp contrast from my own blind and deaf dog. I love her even though she only acknowledges me at meal time. At 18 that is pretty good. When we moved here three years ago she was like a new dog. I think she was relieved to get away from a stressful situation or maybe that was me. She is a tough dog and still fights me when I give her a bath. I can hear her in there snoring now.

Life is good today. I temporarily repaired the water bed so I can sleep in my cocoon during these cold nights. I ran four miles on the treadmill and then went to a friends house for dinner and ate six miles worth of cookies and now I am home in my not so toasty house. All is well.

1 comment:

  1. The wind is howling here as well. It was really howling on the water and so cold. Enjoy the repaired bed. And the dogs.