Monday, January 21, 2013

Practicing non-resistance

I am home working today trying to meet some pretty daunting deadlines. This business is always feast or famine really either nothing to do or everything happens at the same time.

I have be sluggish for a while so getting ramped up isn't easy but very fun. The thrill of all those balls in the air is pretty satisfying at first and I am certainly out of practice.  I accuse my partner of this all the time adding too much to her plate and managing a family to boot. But here I am doing the same thing. You spot it you got it is what they always say.

I am taking this time out to write because it calms me and brings me back to the ground. I have realized recently just how sensitive to noise I am even the whir of the fan plugged into my computer can sometimes make my skin crawl.

I drive around in my car in silence. I remember as a child having a house full of relatives and after a few hours hiding out in the basement.

I am happy to know myself well enough now to know what will make me feel better. I use to think I was just nuts with all the anxiety crowds caused me. Now I know to just limit them to a certain amount of hours and then plug in some time afterward to unwind.

Practicing non-resistance is really working for me these days. I think people can since when you are secure where you are and I feel secure.

I am meeting another client tonight that wandered into the store while I was working late on Saturday. They had a plan and a number from a big box store. They are ready to move forward and I am heading to their house shortly.

I have been letting go and thinking to myself that if something isn't meant to be then something better will come along. Everything is exactly in order even if it isn't my the order I imagined.  

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